


I Should Move

by TheEvilInThisChild666



Category: No More Heroes (Video Games)
Genre: Curtain Fic, Gen, Memories, Moving, Wrestling, lucha masks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 13:57:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12483200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEvilInThisChild666/pseuds/TheEvilInThisChild666
Summary: Travis cleans up as he gets ready to move. Memories and hijinks ensue.





	I Should Move

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a fluff piece to ease me back into writing. Feel free to ignore this if you wish.

Well, this is it.

It's almost time to say goodbye to this shit heap of a motel.

I just came out of the bathroom and I can't say that I'll miss it especially. The toilet was always getting clogged and this one time a pipe burst so they shut off hot water to the motel. I was taking ho's baths for weeks! Try to like a place when you're washing up in front of a sink in front of your cat---

Jeane...

I shook my head and started putting stuff into boxes. First, my Lucha masks! I used a chair to get some height as I took them off the wall. I was just getting the last one when the damn thing tipped over and sent me colliding face first with the ground. I tried to stand back up but I fell back to the floor, too dizzy to do anything and staring at my box of lucha masks, remembering...

_"Travis!"_

_"Yeah yeah. I'm doing my reps."_

_In Calgary, there isn't much else to do besides wrestle. I'm sure the tourism board would disagree with me on that but fuck it, I'm not out to please people. No, I'm here to learn how to hurt people while training under the watchful eye of my master Motorhead._

_"Remember to use your ass Travis! The ass is the most useful part of any wrestler's arsenal!"_

_Motorhead's a former twelve-time world champion. He was famous for his Hell's Highway move which used to drive the crowd wild as he bust an opponent's head on the mat. Unfortunately, he ended up retiring when he accidentally killed an opponent during a match. He now trains hopefuls like me who are trying to get into the wrestling world or just hoping to ruin some bodies in their lives._

_"Enough sit-ups Travis. Hop in the ring for a spar."_

_"All right!" I jump up to my feet and climb in the ring for some action. I've learned some moves and I can't wait to test them against the sorry bastard who's up against me. And the poor son of a bitch coming into the ring right now is...some dude in a tiger mask. Huh. I'll give points for creativity._

_"Begin the slaughter!" Motorhead shouted as he ringed the bell. I charged forward and caught the furry in a grapple, wondering how he can be so stupid-looking and weak as...what the...he's reversing on me...he's punching me in the stomach...he just stuck his thumb in my eye, is that allowed? Wait...he's got me in a german suplex! I grit my teeth as my head hits the mat in a extremely painful way._

_I groan as I roll on the mat before Tiger Mask picks me up and turns me upside down. As soon as I realized what was happening, I screamed as he dropped to his knees, slamming my head on the mat again. This time, I wasn't so much in pain as I was confused. Who am I? Where do I live? Why does some guy in a Tiger Mask have me in a chokehold? I writhed on the mat while a crowd cheered until..._

...I woke up writhing on the floor in my living room. I stopped and looked at my hand. I was clutching a lucha mask. I threw it in a box and sealed it up. Now for my figurines...

I carefully placed the figurines in the box while remembering how I used to keep Jeane away from the figurines by using the feather toy. She really liked the Bakemonogatari toys the best. It always made her stretch up to reach it. Like an angel reaching up to heaven...

I shook my head and finished putting the figures away before sealing up the box. I stood up and stretched. The room was looking barer already. I can't believe I'm going to leave this place. I really have some fond memories watching TV here...

Shit, the TV. I unplug the TV and set it on the floor. I start putting my tapes in boxes, from Mask de Panther to Thunder Ryu. I sigh as I put away Thunder Ryu's tapes. Rest in peace, master. I'll think of you every time I perform a Brain Buster on someone.

I head to the fridge to get a beer. I notice the framed picture on top of it. "JEANE4EVER" it reads as it shows a picture of a warrior taken too soon from this spiteful earth. I stroke the picture as I remember the first day I got her...

_"I need a killer. A real fighter, you know?"_

_I walked around the animal shelter as some nebbish dude with a bowl cut watched me scan the cages._

_"I'm sorry sir but we usually put down animals that are considered...erm, "killers". Perhaps you would like to see our collection of rottweilers over here?"_

_I was about to follow him until I heard meowing coming from my right. I turned and saw the most moe pile of gray goodness that has ever attacked this blue Earth. "Who's that?"_

_The shelter worker walked over and opened the cage. "Oh, that's our Scottish Fold. She's very gentle. Would you like to hold her?"_

_"Sure." The shelter worker picked up the kitten and handed her to me. She moved around in my palm for a bit before biting my thumb._

_The shelter worker sighed and tried to take the kitten back. "I'm sorry sir. I'll try to find you another one that's..."_

_"I want this one. Get the papers."_

_"What? But...okay sir."_

_I petted the kitten while the nerd went off to get the adoption papers. "We're going to be partners for life." The kitten mewled in response._

I put the framed picture in its own small box before finishing my beer. Sayonara Jeane. You were the greatest cat an assassin could ask for. May you have all the mouse corpses you can find in the next life.

After putting away my cards, I head to my bedroom and start putting my clothing in bags. Man, some of these t-shirts are crappy. They still smell like the dumpster I fished them out of. I might as well go shirtless...nah, that would make me look like a dork.

 After that, it was time to put away the beam katanas. These things and I have been through a lot. Mass scammings, revenge, even weird dream sequences. I loaded them into the box as I thought of where I'm heading to next with these things. Maybe I could hunt in the forest with them. Lord knows that I could spend some more time in the forest.

After I took the map down and placed it in a box, I went over to the telephone to unplug it. Before I did that, I decided to listen to the last message on the answer machine. I pressed the button and perked up my ears.

"Travis Touchdown...you took from me the only light in my light. I'm going to bash your brains out until you're a painting on the pavement. You think you're bad...well I'm  **worse**."

...Pfft. Another wannabe challenging my spot. Well, I hope they like searching because I'm going to be hard to find for a while.

I take the boxes out to the Winnebago and stocked up. Now that I think about it, I'm actually going to miss this place. Sure, it smelled, leaked when it rained, had screams all around it from 3-4 a.m and it had a rodent problem but it was still my home. Still, I need to go off to find my new palace. I got in the driver's seat of the Winnebago and drove off, the Crownless King in search of his new throne.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this all the way through. I hope it sliced up your day.


End file.
